Money: The Psychology Of "Gold Digging" In Introspection.

in LeoFinance5 days ago

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The concept of gold-digging is prevalent in most human societies. It probably means going into a romantic relationship for the sole aim of making money. I've seen people who are always careful not to fall into these schemes, but it's inevitable.

Why?

A man is a natural provider, society deems him to be a breadwinner by default although the roles can be mostly reversed, where the man chooses to be a deadbeat parent, or in other challenging circumstances. I was asking a friend some days ago if he'd choose to be a billionaire at the expense of building a romantic relationship with a woman, and he declined, saying that his money would be useless.

I asked someone else and they gave a similar response. Then this made me wonder if people are attaching the presence of a woman to the fulfillment of their wealth and money, why are they so scared of being the victim of a gold-digging venture?

I know people who become wary of their feminine companionship, immediately their finances begin to get better. The truth with these people is that they do not want to be taken advantage of because money is an entry-point that forms the base of attraction, it's difficult to figure out a genuine companionship or one that isn't, this is why rich people mostly keep to their circle. In life, I believe everyone is a sort of gold digger, either intentional or unintentional.


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For Money Or goodwill?

This is because we're inadvertently attracted to people for some reason we cannot even tell. This means that we're subconsciously designed to seek value in whatever relationship we form even if our intention isn't to milk people for money or goodwill.

The truth is when an attraction isn't natural there's a tendency it will be conditional. When it's natural, there are still certain values to be gained, but it wouldn't seem too obvious, because it doesn't scream gold-digging. Men are mostly attracted to beauty more than they do a financially independent woman (this might vary). So while an attraction to beauty might be non-monetary, it's still conditional.

Because beauty is the basis of the attraction and this is where the value is attached. So this beauty might be a motivating factor to spend money. A woman is inadvertently attracted to a financially stable man (this can vary) because this guarantees futuristic certainty, things like good looks are peripheral because if they were not, we wouldn't have a lot of broken homes due to financial incapacitation.

So even when people are not attracted to others for the money, indirectly, they're attracted to some values that might potentially yield monetary values. But it becomes an issue when we can visibly tie the attraction of people to wealth, status or money. Now the reason why gold digging seems bad is that it is intentional.

Some people come for the money but when the money isn't there, the goal might change and they'll stay especially if the people they came for are hardworking and showing signs of a potentially bright future. This sort of gold digging transcends, it changes over time, while the original intent nullifies, something more stable is born.

However, there's a sort of gold digging that's static, it's born out of the need to escape poverty, it is ruthless or bears no remorse and this is the sort of gold digging that makes people scared. We've seen young people going for extremely old people in relationships, when society sees such, it's quickly directly tied to the concept of gold-digging.


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Does this mean that a huge age difference is an alarming limitation to a romantic relationship?


Yes, we mostly believe so. Why is this? I tend to think that attraction is the purest motivation for establishing a non-monetary relationship. However, we tend to underestimate the influence of wealth and money. When people aren't motivated by natural attraction, it becomes a white or black scenario.

This is why some people match makes themselves with people who are in the same financial situation as themselves so that their money would not be a reason as to why someone decided to marry or be with them. Some wealthy people are extremely insecure, this is because their status makes them a center of attraction, this in turn makes them go the extra mile to create a process of scrutiny for anyone in their lives.


In conclusion

When it comes to relationships, I think everyone seems to dig a form of gold, the difference is that we're all intentional or unintentional diggers. I've seen wealthy people who leave their wealth to charity instead of their lovers or family.

This isn't just from the kindness of their heart, this is because they do not want to leave their money to people who they think are underserved of it. In reality, we're always in the situation to judge if people are undeserved. Sometimes, we can perceive the intentions of people from afar, sometimes we cannot. But in life, we're not truly scared of gold-digging, we're mostly scared of undeserved people.




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Unconditional love is very difficult to find because most times is not natural and it happens for a purpose. Even 98% of the friendship I have seen is conditional.

The real truth is people's motives and what that drives is what I'm always looking at. If your motives is to turn me MMM and that's the only thing that drive our relationship I will definitely go.

As man, we will always be attracted by how helpful, intelligent, values, and vision but attraction is different from intention. Something will always make you attractive but that thing will not hold the bond nor change intention.

I don see guy wet just won nack but dey con see say the lady worth am and change their intention and I see babe wet con chop money and run but later change.

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I don see guy wet just won nack but dey con see say the lady worth am and change their intention and I see babe wet con chop money and run but later change.

I majorly emphasized this as well. However, I do think I'm usually wary of intentions because my life revolves around it a lot. I don't think I can even accomodate anyone whose their original intention is to chop me dry. At least if this is the person's intention then what are they bringing to the table?
I think forming true relationships are difficult, but like you said, a person with the intent of turning one to MMM is what I try so hard to avoid. Irrespective, the society we live in forming the best relationships with the male or female folk is tricky and sometimes we can only hope to get lucky.

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I strongly agree, our society is not helping the matter

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Well, I get your view totally.

But the friends you asked about having money at the expense of women have not experienced SAPA or OWU.

Most of the success story I have heard did so at the expense of women at the start.

Also, sometimes it make sense to look for someone with near the same financial status with you.

But sometimes that can get you a wrong person.

I have seen girls with cars and the latest iPhones with nothing in their account.

The truth is to watch closely, people can't pretend for long.

The case of marrying an older woman can be controversial but the question is why don't men marry poor old women?

But the friends you asked about having money at the expense of women have not experienced SAPA or OWU.

It's the same with a lot of men I've asked, most of them don't think their money would mean anything without a woman in their lives, it's often like a cap that crowns it all for them.

Also, sometimes it make sense to look for someone with near the same financial status with you.

We all know that this is difficult ftom where we're coming from, the society we live in is wired to make women believe that marriage or a relationship shouldn't make them go the extra mile at achieving financial freedom.

The case of marrying an older woman can be controversial but the question is why don't men marry poor old women?

Do you mean younger men? If this is the case it's virtually impossible. The truth is, wealth or money arguably becomes the beacon, it sorts of bridges the gap to an extent. There are other things too like sex, but then... There must be something that becomes a motivating factor for some irregular union to happen in our society.

There must be something that becomes a motivating factor for some irregular union to happen in our society.

I totally agree with you and but most often than not, the motivation is always money. Although, I have seen when people marry to get out of the country too

Even the motivation to get out of the country is indirectly monetary because one must be financially capable to even think of leaving the country. It's all entwined to an extent. It's crazy the world we live in.

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The truth is to watch closely, people can't pretend for long.

This is true bro and that's a very dangerous one if involved with an expert in pretending just to get their goal.

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if involved with an expert in pretending just to get their goal.

Well, if you have a level of money, you should be very observant in identifying red flags tho..

Most pretenders still leave a trail that we often ignore.

Great Post!

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Omo!!!! This is huge sha.

Every relationship should have a sort of value it adds to people so yes, we are in some way, “gold diggers”.

The problem for me is if it’s a parasitic relationship. I have issues with these kinds of relationships. Those who are just in it for what they want to get.

Thank you for the deep truths you drop every time @josediccus

Well, the society we live in encourages parasitic rather than symbiotic relationships. I think people don't feel these sorts of relationship is wrong. I think someone it depends on how flawed our society is.

Where have you been, I've missed you 😄😄😄

True…. The society supports it and people need to know it’s not right.

“Where have you been, I've missed you 😄😄😄” ….Awwwww🙈.
Work has been demanding lately.
Children are on break so they come in their numbers to the clinic.
By the time I get back home, I just eat and crash. Then, it’s the next day😂

Yeah, I understand, but you should at least squeeze out one hour to keep your blog going. You know, because if you leave it for such a long time, it might be really difficult for you to find the motivation again. Anyway, I'm glad you're doing well. Hahaha I was just wondering..

Money and its complexities. It takes a person knowing the importance of a relationship to choose a partner over money. And it takes one to know how amazing a relationship would be with money to step out of the door and look for something that will provide for both. A relationship with out money is stressful so is money without proper relationships unless you are too self absorbed I guess.

I understand the view and I do agree that most people don't really understand how to use those funds because they don't understand how much work it took to get those funds. Sometimes, I see those videos about how people spend a ton of money and it's worth more than I spend in a year.

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