I’ll be buggered if I can think of it right now, but I’m sure there’s a term for it.…
Not THAT kind of prelude!... I left my obsession for four lumps of rubber and a lump of tin a long time ago - same as with my obsession for more money...(both, circa 1997).
Due to a power cut all yesterday, in conjunction with some exceedingly hot weather, I ended up imbibing rather large quantities of ice cold beer - and today I’m realizing why it is, that stopped imbibing said large quantities of beer, in the first place.
While three decades of chemically induced lowering of the IQ served it’s purpose at the time (It meant that I could be uber sociable and interested in really boring people), it no longer serves my purposes.
I now rather enjoy my synapses firing in all cylinders – and can feel the difference when they’re not.
Like not knowing a word, for a prelude to an introduction, for example.….
Anyways, I digress.
Let’s crack on with ‘the prelude to an introduction.…’
Lucy has a conversation….with Lin.
Lucy: So what’s the plan?
Lin : I dunno, you’re the clever one in the this relationship, I’m just here for tits and giggles.
Lucy: That’s what I love about you.
Lin: I don’t have tits, you do know that, right?
Lucy: You’re the other half of my consciousness, so yes, I do know that.
Lin : Just sayin’.... don’t be trying to cop a feel or anything.
Lucy: Where were we?...Oh yeah… the plan.
Lin: What plan?
Lucy : My fucking plan!...I have a plan.
Lin: I’m really happy for you then, about that, are you gonna let me in on it?
Lucy : You already know it, we’re the same brain.
Lin: Good point. Yeah…it’s a good plan…although more tits would be nice.
Lucy: Oh shut up, I’m being serious here.
Lin: Yeah, I hate that about you.
Lucy: I know you do, you're me.
Lin: Another good point….Ok then, why are we discussing a plan that we already know about ? It all seems like a bit of a waste of time if you ask me… we could be surfing the net for bikini clad babes instead.
Lucy: True, but if we don’t discuss it like this, then how the hell can we write about ‘the prelude to an introduction’ in our Hive account?
Lin: Ah, I got ya – by talking to ourselves in this context, we can deliver the message onto Hive in a way that presents itself as something different. Why don’t you just use some analogy instead?
Lucy: To me, analogies are a condescending vehicle that the more intelligent individuals use to try and pretend to be not condescending, to people less intelligent that themselves.
It’s kinda like masturbating under the dinner table while you’re talking to a hottie that you’ve just met. Talking about how you just hate the way women are treated like sex objects.
Lin: Fuck you are clever, aren’t you?
Lucy: Nah, I’m a fucking idiot – ask @coinsinstant , he’s got me sussed.
Lin: Was it fun?
Lucy: Was what fun?
Lin: Chuffing off under the dinner table, while you were talking to the hottie?
Lucy: That was just an example of why I don’t like analogies – I find them condescending.
Lin: We need to try it sometime though, it does sound really fun. The dinner thing, not the analogy thing...
Lucy: Wasn’t that time on the overnight coach enough for you? She was hot.
Lin: She was smokin’ hot, wasn't she? But we never talked to her, we just looked down her cleavage between the seats...
Lucy: Enough already ! Stay focused on the plan.
Lin: God, you’ve become really boring since you stopped taking massive quantities of chemicals, you know that?
Lucy: I don’t care. I prefer clarity nowadays.
Lin: Clarity? Is she hot?
Lucy: She’s smoking hot, yeah. And that’s why I wanna live inside of her all the time, and not a chemical haze.
Lin: We sound nuts writing this for Hive, you do know that, right ?
Lucy: I don’t care about that, either. Only retards without any imagination would try to frame it like that.
Lin: We’re talking about the plan again, aren’t we?
Lucy : Kerching! superman.
Lin: So this is kind of like an analogy, isn’t it?
Lucy: Fuck off, no.
Lin: Yeah, it is… just a little bit.
Lucy: Ok,… maybe just a little bit.
Lin: Can we go bikini browsing now, then?
Lucy: No we fucking can’t, we’ve got a post to do... About the plan.
Lin: Oh yeah…The Plan…Run it by me one more time, will ya? ….bikini babes keep popping into my head, and it all gets very distracting.
Lucy: Ok, here’s the plan….We make a lot noise on Hive, just as Alinsky said to do. You know, lots of controversial, edgy subjects, concerning Hive itself, and then we wait to get jumped on by accounts that really run things around here… People that don't like the truth being said out loud, and thus, by being jumped on, it illustrates precisely, everything that we’ve just been going on about.
Lin: Don’t you think they’ll see right through such an obvious tactic, and not play into our hands?
Lucy: If you’d asked me that three years ago, I would’ve said ‘very possibly’, but now I’ve come to realize that they’re not the sharpest tools in the shed…..calling them dumber than a bag of rocks is somewhat offensive to common basalt, if you ask me.
Lin: So you’ll think that they’ll bite?... Seriously?
Lucy: Oh, yeah they’ll bite alright – their driven by weak ego’s and think that money is the barometer of everything important.
Sentience , to them, means a string of words that you put together to communicate something - generally with a full stop at the end.
Lin: Can we use boobs in this?
Lucy: Well, I do have a news video coming up where a midwit presenter calls us 'The Information Terrorist, @lucylin' – which on the screen it shows as ‘The T.I.T,’ @lucylin.
Lin: Oh, that’s gooooooood.
Lucy: You are me remember, we’re playing at being shizoid or something for entertainment purposes of this post. You already know everything I’m gonna say...
Lin: Do you think they’ll use this against us?... Ya know, calling us nuts or something?
Lucy: I do hope so. And you are nuts anyway, so who cares?
Lin: Well, I hope this plan works. How will you know?
Lucy: We'll know when we get a really big account comes onto our post to bait us - or on a comment on another account that we've left - and then'll downvote us in a rage , after having a conversation, simply because he can’t think of anything intelligent enough to say in reply.... It's as depressingly predictable as the sun coming up tomorrow morning, unfortunately..
Lin: They’ll never fall for such an easy trick.
Lucy: We’ve been overestimating their intelligence, I’m sure they will.
Lin: What then, lots of booby jokes?
Lucy : Then it’s part two of the plan….
Lin: Part two? ...Oh for fucks sake, I never knew there a was a part two.... I’m sure you never told me about that part…
Lucy: I did, but you were too busy drooling over that redhead with the webcam, to take any notice…
Coming up - The Plan is executed.
The first objective has been achieved - and reported in all it's successful glory...the final moments all in graphic detail !....(no boobs)
One persons truthful fuckupery - can also be the deceitful persons sleepless night - and all without any yogurt !